Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
