So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
