I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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