Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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