his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize