I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
