oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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