dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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