I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
