I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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