One girl and one boy is just not enough.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
