i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
