You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Randomize
