ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
