I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
