You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
