i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
