i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
