She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
