I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
