All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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