It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
