I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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