I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
