my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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