I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
