You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
