Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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