I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize