Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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