Dual....:-)
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
