This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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