Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
