TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
soo... how was my night?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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