did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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