I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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