"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
