do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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