her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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