is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
