What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
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Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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