Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
