PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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