i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
