I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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