so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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