There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize