The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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