You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
