Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize