ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
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i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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