I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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