o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize