So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Randomize
