Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
